The Worst...[I Don't Need You]

You are the worst for knowing what you've done to me...Although it hurts I know, I just can't keep running away.

Dedicated my life...to figuring out how your beat would synchronize with mine. Seamless ticking to the rhythm of your soul. I fell into the pace construed. 

Now these words fall from the confines of your once unspoken truths.

If you cannot stay down you do not have to pretend that there is no way out. I shoulda never let you in.

I regret at times. The everything that I gave of me. Asking was I foolishly...? Amid-st windy nights in my bed traveling the edges. Failing to fill the void you once replenished with warmth.

Tearing off a piece of my  heart and handing it back with whatever's left. The branding of your name imprinted in my ticker still blowing smoke.

Forced to practice to self love. Attempting life lessons of distinguishing solitude from the loneliness in the same room.

Funny how everything changed...Once you  got all that you want, nothing was ever the same.

Taking care of vulnerability nurtured beyond imagination. And as soon as the blindfold brushed my eyes. You pulled my flight from under me. Feeling the heavy effects of gravity.

 Damn baby my mines blown.

Star struck hitting the grounded weight of cement flavored reality. Releasing the grasp and still our fingers remained laced.  Fighting to resuscitate the golden rose bush we cultivated to grow. But, some of the petals are tainted. My thorns sharper.

My wings no longer clipped. Pushing me to be free when I was never caged. Eyes judge the foolishness of your rash desires. Put between a rock and cliff. Logic, heart, and soul.

They say he's no item, please don't like him.--I think you're pride is just in the way.

You taught me:

I do not need you.  But I want you. And I don't mean to but I love you.

Please don't take this personal, but you ain't shit, you ain't nothing until I made you so. Better act like you know.

Before me you were a simple vagabond aimlessly wandering around the streets. Looking for a home on the corners of sidewalks thinking that those in the same darkness loved you. Broken shadows huddled together, do not create a human being: just an outline of what it is shaped to be. Until I gave you the shelter you never dreamed squared. 

I don't need you. I learned that. But I want you. Every smile you genuinely provided and created. Every dream fulfilled when the sun hit your face just right as I awoke beside you each morning. The safety felt in your embrace. The desires surpassed whenever our intimacy became braille. The heartbeat that danced in conjunction with yours. 

You know that I depend on nothing or no one. So why would you show up, uninvited and change my mind like that.

As soon as I throw our memories into the urn of the dearly departed. You got me face down. Willing to be played a fool. To live with no regrets. No what ifs. Knowing that I may mum the word, the day I am proven wrong by my intuition. As we lay apart; Connected by our thoughts and emotions. Mutually striking hunger pangs in our hearts' belly.

I know what this is but the time's wrong. You are the worst to know what you've done to me.

Both unable to completely to walk away. Forgetting the gifts of times past. Fingers barely touching yet remaining loosely intertwined.

I don't need you. I don't need you. I don't need you. But, I want you. I don't mean to. I don't mean to. I don't mean to. 

But I love you.

  

I Need You Now More Then Everby khl1