Constellation Creation---Say Something

Click here to Lysz Flo

Realizing I have fallen in love with my Muse twice,

“We do not exist in
Any other instant
Here in this dimension
You and I are meant to be”

I attempted to create a shared constellation and couldn’t.

As it is already carved into the universe And spoken of in astronomy books

Could we just…trace over what has been written with new stars?

© LyszFlo

THE OBSERVATORY---Read me at Lyszflo.com

Stargaze with me as I write poetry---create constellations---within literary terms.

at my new page.

The Observatory

For(e) Play on Words

I hope that you don't take this wrong

But...I been...thinking...
Of finding how many ways...
 I can intertwine
With the pronunciation of  your
Syllables
 As cunning linguistics are filled 
With conversations between 
(lips) 
feeling 
intellectually stimulated 
into salacious verbiage.


Spoken commands 
I would like to cease
Until they become 
That have yet to be captured
After 
 Midday 
Morning 
Craving 
 Until I run 
To add to the sentences 
Wishing to 
 Of your thoughts until the 
Do not refrain
When I...
Request you to relinquish 
Allow me...
 As I...
I have performed in solitude.
Wanting recognition for the submission
 To my favored pen 
As I allow the ink 
Willing to refill and reuse 
As we define the ellipses with adverbs. 
All 

to the attention displayed 
upon mind 
Spilling dictation.

 literal context clues
 and permeate the
 plethora of phallic fantasies...

spoken word and not metaphors.
I request to release any
 unresolved concepts

I can't help but brainstorm upon 

Midnight 
Reflections

Actions 

Repetitions

Continuum

out
 of 
climactic words 

Displayed in the darkness of these silenced pages.

Suction
 The Mental Cells

storm of 
Cerebral Momentum 
has subsided.



Unfulfilled fiction so i can rewrite them into non-fiction.

To coerce...
Disorientation

Revert to the top of the page 
Reiterating all the phrases

Practicing until perfection.



To flow. 

Your tip 
on fresh pages.

Be my subject 
and 
I
Your predicate.

fore

the play on words.

Simulated Secretsby girltripped

The Worst...[I Don't Need You]

You are the worst for knowing what you've done to me...Although it hurts I know, I just can't keep running away.

Dedicated my life...to figuring out how your beat would synchronize with mine. Seamless ticking to the rhythm of your soul. I fell into the pace construed. 

Now these words fall from the confines of your once unspoken truths.

If you cannot stay down you do not have to pretend that there is no way out. I shoulda never let you in.

I regret at times. The everything that I gave of me. Asking was I foolishly...? Amid-st windy nights in my bed traveling the edges. Failing to fill the void you once replenished with warmth.

Tearing off a piece of my  heart and handing it back with whatever's left. The branding of your name imprinted in my ticker still blowing smoke.

Forced to practice to self love. Attempting life lessons of distinguishing solitude from the loneliness in the same room.

Funny how everything changed...Once you  got all that you want, nothing was ever the same.

Taking care of vulnerability nurtured beyond imagination. And as soon as the blindfold brushed my eyes. You pulled my flight from under me. Feeling the heavy effects of gravity.

 Damn baby my mines blown.

Star struck hitting the grounded weight of cement flavored reality. Releasing the grasp and still our fingers remained laced.  Fighting to resuscitate the golden rose bush we cultivated to grow. But, some of the petals are tainted. My thorns sharper.

My wings no longer clipped. Pushing me to be free when I was never caged. Eyes judge the foolishness of your rash desires. Put between a rock and cliff. Logic, heart, and soul.

They say he's no item, please don't like him.--I think you're pride is just in the way.

You taught me:

I do not need you.  But I want you. And I don't mean to but I love you.

Please don't take this personal, but you ain't shit, you ain't nothing until I made you so. Better act like you know.

Before me you were a simple vagabond aimlessly wandering around the streets. Looking for a home on the corners of sidewalks thinking that those in the same darkness loved you. Broken shadows huddled together, do not create a human being: just an outline of what it is shaped to be. Until I gave you the shelter you never dreamed squared. 

I don't need you. I learned that. But I want you. Every smile you genuinely provided and created. Every dream fulfilled when the sun hit your face just right as I awoke beside you each morning. The safety felt in your embrace. The desires surpassed whenever our intimacy became braille. The heartbeat that danced in conjunction with yours. 

You know that I depend on nothing or no one. So why would you show up, uninvited and change my mind like that.

As soon as I throw our memories into the urn of the dearly departed. You got me face down. Willing to be played a fool. To live with no regrets. No what ifs. Knowing that I may mum the word, the day I am proven wrong by my intuition. As we lay apart; Connected by our thoughts and emotions. Mutually striking hunger pangs in our hearts' belly.

I know what this is but the time's wrong. You are the worst to know what you've done to me.

Both unable to completely to walk away. Forgetting the gifts of times past. Fingers barely touching yet remaining loosely intertwined.

I don't need you. I don't need you. I don't need you. But, I want you. I don't mean to. I don't mean to. I don't mean to. 

But I love you.

  

I Need You Now More Then Everby khl1

Wake up alone...

"It's okay in the day....I'm stayin busy..."

Ignoring the internal reveries, preventing the nightmares of reality from reentering the confines of my soul. 

Opening to the sunlight bursting through my windows. 

So much to do, so little time to think of...Who?---Continuing to occupy my heart from realizing it is in synchronization with my brain; looking for the second palpitation only---Who?----could provide.

Forgetting this Him---As long as there is no moonlight.

"Tied up enough..so I don't have to wonder where is he."

Starting with the right foot on the bed forgetting...that there are only sheets and pillows. As I leave the comfort of unrest.

Our pictures. Blurred during the day. No attention given as I float into the tasks at hand. No break just charging onward...I am stronger today. Making plans to find myself...No longer drowning in my loss.

"So sick of crying...so just lately, when I catch myself I do a 180."

Creating the illusionist stage of happiness found. All smiles between the coldness left inside. The swollen eyes made up with eyeliner and mascara. Red lips could tell lies not even I can believe.

Best heels and dress. Dressed for success. For a split second, my eyes daze out into the darkness. I stop. Praying to Lord for strength , taking a deep breath and refusing to let sadness out in full force.

Until the evening comes...no plans?---everyone's busy? Being happy? Being together?

I am left...with...

No choice but to to look at OUR pictures at the head of what was OUR bed. 

Looking at the picture of what was OUR dresser.

No choice but to enclose myself. Shut everyone out as my lipstick has faded despite the lack of hunger.

My sweats on and my soul unmasked.

The solitude my only companion. Not even the crickets fill the silence in what used to be OUR room.

The radio plays-all of me-damn you John Legend. Radio off. Soundcloud on.

The Worst-playing on my phone on repeat. Side effects of you keep me bone chilling.

The warmth, unattainable despite a blanket and covers.

"Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking That silent sense of content That everyone gets Just disappears soon as the sun sets" 

Opinions falls like harsh winter everyone I have let in, judges. 

A fool in love. Pitying the broken pieces left on the floor of what used to be OUR front door.

Truth becomes subjective....does it all depend?

The dark cloud returns. No light comes in, just the moonlight reminding me of what was and what is.

"If I was my heart I'd rather be restless The second I stop the sleep catches up and I'm breathless This ache in my chest As my day is done now The dark covers me and I cannot run now" 

Reality brings me to my knees. Curling up on what used to YOUR side of the bed. Keep me from having regular dreams. The face in my eternal desires continues to haunt me. The pain in YOUR eyes as you stormed away replays in my mind.

Going out at night. To escape the tundra in my bed. Partying halfheartedly a hazard to myself as my I search into the crowd for company.  Leaning on my camaraderie. Yet even the parties must end. Everyone must go home. Not one able to remain long enough to fill the depth of my void.

As the moonlight pours in reflecting the lack of you in my bed. The lack of your presence to bring me warmth. A glimpse of yesterday no longer in sight. Fallen from cloud nine. And falling back into the realization that gravity hurts.

"His face in my dreams seizes my guts He floods me with dread Soaked in soul He swims in my eyes by the bed Pour myself over him Moon spilling in"

Holding hands in the night, as my heart seems to lay at ease, In my dreams. Love forever. All is well. Nothing has ever changed. I love you he says and I will return again. We make love until the dawn.

My alarm rings...and the light of truth echoes.

"And I wake up alone"   

Never Wake Up Alone Againby boyisfiction

I Loved a Gladiator Once II...[Her story]

I loved a Gladiator Once...

But she is now broken spirited....her battered armor reflects...a mere shadow of her true self.

Lost in a winter's daze,

Accepting defeat.

Frozen in the snow.

Forgotten in a field of darkness.

War leaving it's shards upon the tattoos of burnt wounds.

Today the smoke that choked her has cleared,

The stinging of the eyes has passed.

The blood has dried and she is able to rise again.

 Despite the losses in war and the broken pride.

I loved a Gladiator once...and it lead me to an unexpected war.

Fighting to save my own life-my own soul.

 Pressed between a cliff and a sword.

Choosing between His life,

Or M I N E

Thumbs Downby hinxlinx

Back turned to her as her joyous victories now spoken as myth.

Never placed upon a throne of history.

Not one scroll dedicated to her...Not one moment in time...

I loved a Gladiator once...and she got lost on her way back home.

Staggering to find her place. Bewildered as the rain felt like a monsoon.

Nearly drowning in the uncertainty.

Fighting for sobriety

The confusion of friend or foe too great.

S I L E N C E arrives with a small light.

I loved a Gladiator once...And I forgot she is me. I forgot I loved myself more than I did He.

Among-st the internal battle and the pain of the dagger inserted in the middle of my heart,

Constantly reminding I am still alive.

I forgot I loved a Gladiator once.

S H E

 IS 

M E

Dusting myself off. Getting up without fear of failure. But looking forward to the future wars to be won.

I may get injured, murder against me may be attempted. But as long as a beautiful death does not grace my end.

I Loved a Gladiator Once....And I am on the path back to her.

shanis_bladefall_by_mr__jack-d38rxk4

untitled

I Loved A Gladiator Once...

I loved a gladiator once...

Remaining as his backup when he needed me...Willing to go to War as long as the result is his safety...

Making sure that after every battle we would return together safely,

Despite the wounds...we  continued to bandage each other up.

Ready for the next combat...US against the world.

Awaiting Our Beautiful Death..in Unison...My Man...and I his woman...Gladiators..An unbeatable force apart but when together there is no ceasing.

Waiting for a foe worthy of taking us apart in order to meet once more in the depths of our freed souls.

I loved a gladiator once, never backing down and shielding me despite being forced to his knees.
I striking the enemy so he can raise to his feet.

Now..He...a mere mirage of who he once was...A Gladiator...

His punctured pride unable to allow him to remove the blinds. The darkness is not as dense as it resembles.
And there he remains...the un-healing wound he prevents me from curing. Choosing to delve in unexpected cowardice.

In horror I watch as he crumbles and I unable to save him. S I L E N C E.

I, who gave up my "sword and shield", placing the key of soul within his very grasp. He, armed and ready to win the most important crusade of them all...the undying conflict in my heart. Unlocking fears and uncertainty that maintained me alive for so long...

I gaze into the eyes, of a known stranger...I loved a gladiator once...and now he who I know now fills me with fear, desperation, and weakness...

He, has moments of clarity and is open to the training against the enemies that continue to pursue us. Then to the darkness he returns into the deepest wells where even I cannot reach out to him..

Many have perished within our grasp. But today...a Gladiator falls ungracefully...I unsure to continue the journey behind or aside him...I weep not in daylight but in the confines where my unlocked soul bares his name...Wishing for the winter to not revisit me once more...

How can I remain a Gladiator ruthlessly, without my King in all his glory?...What do I fight for?

If I too am just a reflection.of what I once was...I loved Gladiator once...but now neither of us resemble as such...Despite our indestructible fervor...the flame a mere glow...

Weakened are we as they pillage and trample our kingdom and its dreams...We have become our own enemies.

And in the heat of conflict...as he remains on his knees...I defend with all I have left...

Trappedby theDURRRRIAN

Till IT Happens to You...[Failing Sobriety]

It use to be like Heaven....

And now my wings have burnt in the sun's reflection...I must of flew to close...I must have flown to close...Thinking the brightness would never taint reality.

Falling into the dark dampness of the heaviest of clouds...My wings emaciated and scalded. At full speed heading down to the ground where I was picked off my feet.

It use to feel like rain...

 Where you can dance and sing...hold hands and laugh. But now it feels like a hurricane, where I cannot control the direction in which I am spinning. Remorse...Upon the foolishness, all I can feel is S T U P I D.

Believing the shine was gold...And the fool was I. The fool is me.

Love am I a full to believe in YOU? 

As I feel like all I have left is the choux pastry heart..the filling now empty...left with simply the flakes...Disintegrating in the fridge. Looking as if I were solid. But the reality is,

No one knows what love can do...Until it happens to you,

Happening...hurts....Falling with such force...Desperation covers me...Looking at a shell of myself as I know longer know who I am...afraid of what I will become. Ice queen. Warrior placing her shield and sharp weaponry. Back onto the path leaving the crossroads behind. Learning to limp through the pain. Cure myself in the darkness again. Solitude my murderer and healer. Time remains as the uncertainty to my recovery.

Sentenced to purgatory so I can figure it out...

Trying to amidst the suffering continue on...unable to keep you here...unable to let you leave...

How come NOTHING feels the same when I'm with YOU...

No one knows what love can do...Until it happens to you,
I just wish someone would of told me... 

Sadnessby Mathurin156

...I Bang My Pillows...[The Fight for Sobriety]

In the fight for sobriety....I nod for permission....

                                     

Mr. Radio-Fighting the Perfect Storm

No longer knowing which way to turn the dial.

Unknown what song will heal the silent suffering of the tribulations that love songs do not exactly speak of.

Wishing to create a revolution in the situation.

MUSIC UNABLE TO ROMANCE THE GOLDEN MOMENTS BACK INTO THE COLD OF THIS STORM.

Pushed away from a sole problem unable to contribute to a resolution.

Protection becomes segregation.

My biological homeostasis to breath your air intensifies in the solitude that screams in a loud high pitch. 

Love songs breaking down the bravado of a heroine.

Strength not written in the a chord. How to choose a station?

To release the pain...as you continue to inflict yourself unknowingly creating scars through pride and limping my stride.

The "weight of the world" is bringing me to my knees.

Mr. Radio when the perfect storm is brewing and words remain unspoken.

Insecurity reels in the possibilities...of time running out.

Not knowing whether to sing, scream, our allow the rain to enter.

When rhymes become trivial and sense becomes quizzical.

What song do I choose? 

"Sometimes there's a stranger in my house" during "Love and War"

Feeling like "Lithium" as I do not want to fly solo.

Putting on my war paint as I refuse to leave unselected songs blow me through this hurricane.

Introduction to Scrolls

Located on the path of future ridden 

Realities...

Who would have dreamt about this...

Deserted among flood infested pillows - observant walls filled with hopes and aspirations falling on deaf ears

We collided...

and Today

We are still here...

I dedicate my scrolls 

To You.

Loveee Poem

See all music videos Rihanna

I
Don't
Mean
To
Give
The
Wrong
Impression

But I have been crushed to pulp fiction of past enamored anguish

Punished by unborn aspirations turned putrid fruition I just need to be put into a different acquisition.

Love drunk to sip the last drop. Tears prevailed, soaking into sheets, pain glowing in the dark,
Hurt only mentioned to walls

I've been abandoned by past suitors that ever followed to suit to what their incantations clamored ...left to front the world against myself since it never grew into us....

Until us grew...afraid to leave the safety of my cocoon I rather push you away when I incline for you to remain attempting the miracle of my completion...I've been trying to heal my wounds as I inflict scars into you

Fighting to protect my bravado...

But
I
N
E
E
D
LOVE and
Affec
Tion

Dispersing hail sized disbelief, sublimating previous me...I can't help but to repress this feeling in captivity preventing it to escape and still needing to display the synchronized way of telepathic speech between pacemakers...I know you are the one meant to make the pace of dedicated reincarnations

I need you as Adam needed Eve you are the missing piece to the riddles in my granite heart... You're the answer to the unspoken questions...you're the reason I surrender my shield...you're the reason I feel

I need you every second, I cannot help my imbalance when I let go of your phalanges...

I seem to be falling

Discovering another organ to keep me in homeostasis, the reason why my sun rises and the moon sets

I hope
I
Am
Not
Sounding
To
Desperate

"Can you love me for poor "
My soul has had holes in it for years

I see the hesitation in the way you manage your expedition into the catacombs of my aorta

Tugging in war within various vas deferens...going in circles as mind and emotive become a labyrinth

"Whoever turned you cold
You need to let 'em know
I can work miracles "

In disposition to let all ties of concocted realities chip away...releasing blocks of heavy disbelief to save the hero...of my internal renovations

I
Don't
Mean
To
Give
The
Wrong
Impression

But "when I love you close,
You can feel my heart beating thru my clothes"

It's something I can't control as I refuse to let go

I hope
I
Am
Not
Sounding
To
Desperate

Committing self inflicted treason for conquest of copious curing, deconstructed love chants converted into core conclusions

But

I

N
E
E
D
LOVEEE

and
A
F
F
E
C
Tion

©DISorientedDIVA 2013

Why I wash his clothes....

See from the moment he walks into the room leaving trails of a long hard day...(socks) for me to follow I know

Daddy's home.

As his polo comes off letting the heat of sweat poured into growing dedication of self growth and sacrifice

I know it is he who comes with sighs.

Refusing to let frustration and cracked corporate crap mentally rupture his peace

His wife beater is the next piece to free himself of battled restrains the soreness of his struggle to maintain the journey God has allowed him one more chance to step

Timbs or Nikes left apart almost like stones meant to trip through the guided path of un-defeat tired and sore feet

Khakis pulling together holes of his past and dirt stains of his future...overcoming obstacle on a daily basis

I wash his clothes because he requires help in sorting through different textures and colors of life

Because he has been buried before under dirty laundry and not many have helped to unravel the possibility of softening the blows of harsh cold washouts- repetitive cycles

Taking blows while spinning under heated pile of weight placed on shoulders

Baskets of darks tilting On his head...

Handing the whites to him instead...fold these as you can store them into the crisp creases of togetherness. My intentions come with no hidden tint.

I wash his clothes not because of sexist obligations but of admiration of who he's decided to become.

What He decided to Gain from riding away from the Tide waiting for him to soften the harsh realities of true cleanliness.

I wash his clothes because deep down inside the piles that come and go. Obstacles get hanged and the rest Eventually gets folded And stored.

I wash his clothes because I not get at wit's end with loose ends of damp sock trails

But because we chose one another to [c]Lean on when broken or incomplete. When the radiance of our colors are not as before.

I choose to defend him with Arm and Hammer. Leaving his clothes like never before.

I wash his clothes...
because
I love the end result a clean warrior ready for another week into the future with a fresh perspective.

I wash his clothes because

I
L o v e
H i m
©DISorientedDIVA 2013

Dear God,

Diosito,

Sealing internal yearnings with hope that only one person can give.

Closing my eyes shut and having silent conversations

Muttering under vocal chords
Speaking to myself and God in soliloquys

Uncovering a naked soul,
a child more to look after,
thanking and
Wishing he here's my pleas

Learning to return to and rebuild the relationship that at times I fail to grow

Planing seeds to reep what I sow.

Sometimes. I forget to fertilize the foundation. Searching...restarting the soul...again

Looking for the rainbows after the rain...pushing away the defeat...running back to the guidance that I often fail to follow

Ay diosito...you know of my imperfections and still we are made in your image...amazing

Dear God,
I'm walking towards a light in which I have been struggling to reopen the blinds and let it shine in...

Refusing to be the fool...who rejects sun rays for darkness...

Taking steps forward...instead of gliding in reverse.

Bondye,

I digress for self lament grabbing onto an extended hand of hope and faith ...revisiting tracks as I have circled the loss of my way...

Retracing steps towards the beaten path as new signs lead the direction.

As I ask and you reciprocate. Promises scribed in scripture with the one request of praising your name fearlessly in return

Mon Dieu,

I have grown weary, some of those who we should call brothers and sisters have failed to cover basic guidelines of treating one another correctly

Injustice of the flesh, enemies multiplied, joining forces.

Dios mio,

I turn my back to those who speak with tainted tongues. Focusing not on the calamities that continue to sting into open wounds.

Looking for healing. We request so much, we ask and cannot give back, "what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"

Releasing the last thread of failure stricken sentiments from the bruisings of lightened shoulders.

Grabbing hold of faith...as I would as a child holding my colosso's hands-a giant as my father resembled that of a God towering me.

Unsealing internal yearnings...sowing what I reap for better days in brightness I shall travel.

I am flawed so I may take steps with disorientation...yet still not losing direction.

Dear God,

Expect my calls...I'm coming back to you...

©DISorientedDIVA 2013

Making the Poem Cry...

I can't see it coming down my eyes so I gotta make lacrimals well up within the pointed ball of my pen.


Refusing saltine filled secretions climb down cheeks


I feel the disease of triste

Have drips from self inflicted puncture wounds blend with the margins in my sheets.


Refusing to leak physically but literally infusing the aching drops into scraps of recycled murdered trees

A lump in my esophagus transposed through phalanges as my pacemaker ticks the sounds of echoing defeat



Love connotations hath no glory upon which dismay leaves its imprint



Becoming a being other than thyself




Wolven form howling at the night as to release what I refuse to portray...sin filling the greens of my soul's windows followed by a bluish gray...as color leaves my self portrait reflected in the mirror.


I refuse to let it come down my eyes so I thrust and slash into electronic notes like a madwoman who's lost her mental nodes

Running from the acceptance of loss. Shattering bravado, shards of the statue, lay in the dark

Allowing walls to critique...consuming me...the darkness chose me...as forever displays itself upon the disappearing stars gas filled earth disappears into an unclaimed universe

Your letting go hurts...bitter-sweetness of retaliation dressed in Sheep's clothing


I remain clothed as the emperor was...bare of anything other than

I can't see it coming down my eyes but I decided to make this scripture screech...ink spilling its excess...as the poem cries for me.


Conveniently in denial of emotional distress stabbing drops upon verbatim as this noun get rejected into periods. Ellipses replacing representations of what is forcing a grimace of physical reality...quoting sad songs to express my truth

As I can't see it coming down my eyes will I remain Lyrically suffering for you...

©DISorientedDIVA 2013

Making you....Immortal

I want to...

 M

A

K

E

Y O U

 immortal in order to never feel as if I was forgetting you....
As I can continue to relive through stored data in my cerebrum
Releasing endorphins as I travel through times of 

hands held, 

songs danced, and 

stories told
Poetry placed into fingertips and art came to life.
They say I have a voice of a poet sorta like you did and...

 that side smile
I reenact through wrinkles in time 

laughter  and uncomfortable coming of age conversations
I replay angry discussions 

as we were too much alike to get along
...hot tempered, short fuse and too much pride...getting in the way of growth.
But at the end of the day, we'd cool off sit together read and hear music together
Hang out and hold hands
as I always remained in the shadow of my colossus
Going back to rewind Aesop's Fables and Anansi  and cultural tales of history so that I would be wise and knowledgeable of my culture
Retracing childhood 

and 

pre-teen years 

in order to grasp unto every step 

taken 

beside you
In order to never have a blurry thought 

and 

keep it machete sharp...
Refusing to replace the terabytes of my neurons with unimportant figures.
Tattooing you into the depths of my spirit.
As I carve you into  existence 

to keep you alive in memo graphic essence.

I want to...

 M

A

K

E

Y O U

 immortal in order to never feel as if I was forgetting you....

 

...in order to never feel 

as if I am 

running out of ink ...
slowly forgetting how to transcribe you....into immortality
...Papi...

08.15.55-01.02.05

 ©DISorientedDIVA 2013

Father May I?...God Soliloquy

Father,

May I Talk to you,

As I close out the sounds...of the world

Only wishing time could pause so that I can

If I may,

Sit within your embrace as your child in your lap.

Shield me father 
for I have become lost in such violent disruption

My brothers and sisters have forgotten your basic concepts and although

There are many values I haven't adopted yet 
...May 
I?

I've been searching for ways to speak with you unsure if you'd be wiling ?

I'm not very boisterous about our relationship. 
I feel g u i l t y from to time.


I admit at times I get 
bit shy in regards to the love we share
Since nowadays speaking of how I feel about you can be deemed inappropriate and

You know out of anyone that I do not like to be a hypocrite

Lord,

Can I...
 
look up into the windows of your soul for just a second

 I know it's a long line but can I whisper something
...to you?

My father is with you so when I speak its for both of you to listen

Do you mind?

And I know that at times I can be a disappointment, 
You know reasoning of my intentions

Recapturing time lost, ill-spent.

I thank you for the grace of your gifts. 
It still feels as if I haven't opened them yet

It's amazing how you know me so well. 
He's just right. 
And Mom...
I know you made her in your image.

Excuse the informality of my pleas
The anger in some of my reactions
And the silent sadness that try to cover in my heart

I know that solitude is not possible when you remain living and breathing along our sides but as a human being At times my hopes are selfishly flawed

Wishing for physical miracles and overlooking blessings.

My journey continues but my shoes get untied.

Hey dad,

Thank you for the strength you have granted me in order to continue and the reality checks that rattle me enough to get back on path.

Lord,

May I take another minute of your time,

As I bare myself of constructed and self inflicted needs of perfection

You know me for who I am, so I take you by the the hand as we walk into silent discussions... I have some questions about where will I go and does this benefit me and those around me...

Sorry if I feel so heavy but I have a weight on my shoulders and a lump of overwhelming sadness that comes and goes.

But if you don't mind may I,

"Talk to you and ask you for your guidance....especially today when my world feels a little bit cloudy"

[-Yolanda Adams]

 ©DISorientedDIVA 2012

Alone

...the saddest feeling of internal vacancy as fuckitude has been replaced by 

inter-

dependency.

Soft replaces rough

Time of the year 

Where NO ONE wants to be soaked in solace as everyone bundles in 

Bunches...

Too busy to notice...

despite being paired remaining single 

in the weakest moments

Aching time pieces 

As no one is able to reach back to ...m e

Melodramatic reruns of law and order/criminal minds/house

Running out of decorations to fill the 

G    A    P   S
 

Not enough

Lights to brighten the darkness

 ©DISorientedDIVA 2012